How to Get Laid, With Straight Answers for Grown-Ups
If you want to get laid, the old routes are slow. Bars are loud and nobody knows who's single. Mainstream apps are full of people who want something else. Friends of friends dry up. How to get laid, for most adults in the UK now, comes down to putting yourself where people want the same thing, and then not making a mess of the conversation.
This is the plain guide. No tricks and no lines to memorise, just what works on ShagDates: the profile, the first message, the plan, and the night itself.
The problem
Why getting laid feels harder than it should
Most people who struggle with getting laid aren't short of appeal. They're in the wrong places. On apps built for relationships, being honest about wanting sex gets you unmatched. In bars, you spend the night guessing. Both waste your evenings and your confidence.
There's also the time it eats. An evening in a bar can stretch to midnight and still end with nothing but a night bus home. Weeks of swiping can end in a match who wanted a pen pal all along.
The fix is simple: go where wanting sex is normal. On a site like ShagDates nobody has to hide it, so your job shifts from guessing to choosing. That alone changes how quickly things happen.
The profile
Your profile does half the work
Pick a current photo that shows you as you'd turn up on a Friday. Not a group shot, not sunglasses, not a car. Then write three or four honest sentences: what you're into, what a great evening involves, and one odd detail people can't resist asking about.
Don't be shy about what you want. A profile that says you love a long, slow night, or that you're up for something spontaneous on a weeknight, does the filtering for you. The people who reply already like the sound of it.
Profiles that get replies
A clear face photo, a sense of humour, and a line about what you actually want from a night.
Profiles that get skipped
One word, no photo, or a list of demands that reads like a job advert.
The message
The first message that gets a reply
Keep it brief, pointed and slightly cheeky. Pick up on a detail they wrote, ask about it, and make your interest obvious. "Hi" gets ignored. A paragraph about yourself gets skimmed. A line that proves you took notice gets answered.
If you want to get laid this week rather than eventually, the trick is volume with quality: message a handful of people who genuinely appeal to you, not fifty you barely read. Then reply properly when they answer. Most chats die because someone stops making an effort, not because the spark wasn't there.
The plan
Turn the chat into a date with a time on it
Once the conversation is warm, suggest something specific. A day, a time, a place. People who want to get laid tonight can say so; plenty of members are up for same-day plans if the chat has been good. If they want more time, give it, and keep the conversation fun in the meantime.
How to get laid fast, in one sentence: be clear, be likeable and be the one who names the night. Our page on setting up a meet for sex goes deeper on the practical side: where to suggest, what to settle first and how to keep the plan alive until the night.
Wanting to get laid is normal. Doing nothing about it is optional. Start a conversation tonight.
Join and get startedGet laid UK
Getting laid in the UK, wherever you live
City or small town, the approach is the same; only the distances change. In a big city you can afford to be picky, because there's plenty of choice within a short ride. In smaller towns, look a bit further afield and be ready to travel half an hour for the right person.
There's a weekly rhythm to it as well. Friday and Saturday are busiest, but midweek nights are often easier to arrange, quieter in the bars and more relaxed. Plenty of members swear by a Wednesday.
Work patterns matter too. Shift workers, people who travel for work and anyone with a busy weekend diary often find the best nights are the unexpected ones: a Tuesday when a meeting finishes early, a Sunday afternoon with nothing planned. Say on your profile which evenings usually suit you and you'll match with people on the same rhythm.
The night
On the night, relax and read the room
Be on time, dress like you made an effort, be the person from your messages, and focus on the person in front of you. Notice when the conversation drops to a lower voice, when a hand lingers on your arm, when the gaps between sentences get longer and more charged. Laughing together does more than any line. If it's going well, one of you will suggest moving on. If it isn't, finish your drink politely and head home. There's always another conversation waiting.
If you're a man trying to understand what makes women here say yes, read why local women choose who they choose. And if you're still deciding where to try all this, our honest look at sex sites explains what makes a site worth your evenings. Or just start at the ShagDates home page and have a look around.
Nerves
Nervous? Good, it means you care
Nerves before a first meet are close to universal, especially if it's been a while. The good news is that the hardest bit is already done: you both know why you're there. Nobody is wondering whether you fancy them, and nobody has to engineer a first kiss out of nothing.
Have a plan for the first ten minutes, a question or two from your messages you want to pick up on, and the rest tends to flow. Most nerves vanish the moment the other person smiles at you across the bar.
Getting laid, answered
How do I get laid in the UK if I'm out of practice?
Start somewhere everyone wants the same thing, so you're not guessing. Write an honest profile, send a few thoughtful messages, and suggest a simple first drink once the chat is warm. Confidence comes back quickly once you're talking to the right people.
Can I get laid tonight?
Sometimes. Plenty of members are open to same-day plans when a chat clicks. Say in your profile that you like spontaneous nights, and look for people who say the same.
Do I need to be good-looking to get laid on here?
It helps less than you'd think. Members reply to people who are fun, clear and easy to talk to. A warm smile and a bit of character in your bio beat a model's jawline and nothing to say.
What's the biggest mistake people make?
Lazy messages. One-word openers and copy-and-paste lines get ignored. Swapping those for a brief note that responds to what someone actually wrote changes results faster than anything else.