Meet for Sex With Someone Who Wants Exactly the Same
To meet for sex, you need two things most dating sites can't give you: someone who wants exactly what you want, and a way to say so without either of you blushing. ShagDates was set up for that. Everyone here joined to meet up for sex, so the hardest conversation in dating is over before you've written a word.
What's left is the good part. Finding someone you fancy, flirting until it's obvious, and picking a night. This page covers how members actually make that happen: the pace, the arrangement, the bed question and the bit nobody talks about, making sure you both turn up.
Saying it
"I want sex" is a perfectly good opener here
Elsewhere, admitting you're looking for sex gets you blocked. On ShagDates it gets you replies, as long as you say it with a bit of charm. Members aren't shocked by "I want sex"; they're bored by men and women who take a fortnight to admit it.
Being direct doesn't mean being crude. Clear about the intent, warm about the person: that's the tone that works. Say what kind of night you're imagining, ask what theirs looks like, and let the conversation find the overlap. You'd be amazed how quickly two people who've never met agree on the details once nobody is pretending.
And once it's said, the chat gets a lot more fun. You can talk about what you'd do, where and for how long, and enjoy the anticipation instead of worrying whether the other person is on the same page.
And once it's said, the chat gets a lot more fun. You can talk about what you'd do, where, and for how long, and both enjoy the anticipation instead of worrying whether the other person is on the same page.
The arrangement
How sex meets get arranged, step by step
Most sex meets on the site follow a simple pattern. A few messages to check the chemistry. A swap of what you're both into and what's off limits. Then a suggestion with a day, a time and a place attached, because "we should meet sometime" never turns into anything.
Pace
Quick sex or a slow build, both work here
Some members want quick sex: a message on Monday, a meet on Tuesday, no ceremony. Some are open to sex tonight if the chat is good enough. Others love the tease of a week of messages first, every evening a little hotter than the last. Neither is better. What matters is matching with someone on the same timetable, so say which you prefer early on.
Quick doesn't have to mean rushed, either. Some of the hottest meets on the site are the ones where two people who've been teasing each other all week finally get a single hour together, and make every minute of it count.
If you're after just sex with no dinner and no speeches, say that too. Plenty of members want exactly that and are relieved when someone else is honest about it. If you'd like more of an evening around it, there's a whole guide to the sex date, done properly, from the drink to the morning after.
Dry spells
Need sex after a long dry spell?
You're far from alone. Break-ups, busy jobs and a couple of years of bad apps leave plenty of people out of practice. Members who've been through it say the same thing: the first conversation is the hard part, and after that it comes back quickly.
Keep your first meet simple. One drink, somewhere you feel comfortable, with someone who's been easy to talk to. No grand plans, no pressure to impress. If the spark is there, the rest tends to take care of itself, and if it isn't, you've had a drink with someone interesting and you're back in the swing of it.
Turning up
How to make sure you both turn up
The single biggest frustration with trying to meet and have sex through apps is people who vanish. The fix is simple: agree specifics and confirm on the day. A short message that afternoon, something like "still on for seven?", turns a vague plan into a real one and gives either of you a polite way out if life gets in the way.
Meet somewhere public for the first drink, tell a friend where you'll be, and keep your own way home sorted. None of that kills the mood. It means you can both relax enough to enjoy the evening, which is the point.
People nearby are looking for sex tonight and waiting for someone to suggest a time. Be the one who does.
Join and start chattingWhose place
Yours, theirs or a room for the night
Decide this before the night, not in the taxi. Hosting is the easy option when one of you lives close to where you're meeting, but plenty of people would rather not invite someone home the first time. A booked room solves that neatly: neutral ground, no tidying, and nobody worrying about the walk past the neighbours.
If you're hosting, a clean bathroom, fresh sheets, low lights and a drink in the fridge go a long way. If you're meeting in a room, the moment the door clicks shut behind you both is one members talk about for weeks. If you're the guest, be easy to have around and know how you're getting home. Little things like that are why some first meets turn into regular ones.
Who to message
Finding someone who is looking for sex the same way you are
Looking for sex is the same goal for everyone here, but the style varies a lot. Read profiles properly. One member is after a single night, another wants a weekly arrangement; one craves adventure, another wants slow and tender. Message the people whose style matches yours and you'll waste far less time.
Women on the site choose carefully, so it pays to understand what local women here say they want before you start. And if you're out of practice altogether, the basics of getting laid cover the profile and the first message in more detail.
Meeting up, answered
How quickly can I meet for sex on ShagDates?
That depends on who you match with. Some members meet within a day or two of the first message; others prefer a week of chatting first. Being clear about your own pace helps you find someone on the same schedule.
Is it okay to just want sex, nothing else?
Completely. That's why most people are here. Say so honestly in your profile and messages, and you'll attract members who want the same, with no awkward misunderstandings later.
Do we need to agree everything before we meet?
The important things, yes: what you're both into, anything that's off limits and where the night is likely to end up. Leave the rest to the evening. A little mystery keeps it fun.
Should I bring protection?
Always. Bring your own, use it, and don't assume the other person has it covered. Being prepared is part of being someone people want to meet again.
What if one of us changes their mind?
Then the night ends there, with no hard feelings. Either of you can decide to stop whenever you like, and good members respect that without question. It's part of what makes people comfortable enough to meet at all.